Crystal's Formation: Nucleation
Horror Hybrid Fiction 1/2, After Nymphish
Part I: Nucleation
[Disclaimer: Any resemblance to real people, companies, and/or places of business is purely coincidental]
Lapis Lagoon: Luster 4 U
Want hair long and strong enough to
wrap around the ocean and back?
Craving the luster of a precious
gemstone? Well, look no further than
Lapis Lagoon© shampoo and hair conditioner!
Our patent, sulfate-and-paraben-free, holistic
blend of fair-trade certified, organic,
natural sapphires, honey, and pearl extract
exfoliates, cleanses, and polishes your
locks and scalp (andpossiblyyourfilthysoul)
for a luscious shine that can’t be beat!
Grab our
bundle from your local beauty
supply store for only
$59.99 today! Leave your hair
purer than a blue
moon and brighter than a
diamond with Lapis
Lagoon©!
(warningclaimsinthisadvertisementarenotverified
bythefdalapislagoon©isnotresponsibleforany—)
lather, rinse, and repeat
i squeeze glistening plastic to feel something in the inlet of real. the musky sweet of honey scratches my nose. gemstones scent marks into my ruby palm. my scalp bubbles to magma in the steam. Crystal, stop wasting our money with too much dye in each foil, each foible of undead, unbleached strand of follicles foils up, evaporates with each column of wet grey around me. my scalp shines plastic and nacre in a way Marge would never dream to be. never could.
Crystal’s Solution
i v e g m e r o m f m u h a n I r c a v e d o r r e o r b e e f l a l e s l e s l b s e e m w t h i y o r u t r u s e u c t r I i l l w k e a m y u o h e i n s e i h b t r g r n t h a t h e p i s i o a c l r m c s t i n u y r o s s o 's b a l p o a s y e e w h o d
shine 1
i shine a smile when i enter the salon. i shimmer when Crystal, you’re five minutes late for your first client; this is your final— reflects off the cline of my jewel imbued scalp. i glisten my teeth when i offer the crystallized sorry, guide Jade through all the treatments I olaflex on her bleach fried strands. I flash my purse zipper when Jade hands me $150 before Marge eyes it. I sparkle when she inquires about how purified my mane glows Lapis Lagoon, Diva, do you want to buy some? Don’t mind if I do! i polish the shelf. the label islands barren of its bottles. i luster my face, smooth over the nacre ache puffing under my eyes. brilliant in corundum slumber.
Phase Change
C r y s t a l, y o u d o n ’ t n e e d M a r g e ’ s c r a c k e d l e a t h e r , h a i r l i n e f r a c t u r e d m i r r o r s, d r i p p e d p u d d l e s f r o m b r e a k s i n t h e s h a m p o o c h a i r b a s i n s c i r c a 2 0 0 3 . Y o u d o n ’t n e e d A m b e r r a t t i n g y o u o u t w h e n y o u u s e ( t o o m a n y ) e n o u g h f o i l s . I w i l l fortify y o u . I w i l l crystallize y o u t o t h e p o i n t n o p e r s o n c o n -t o r t i n g a j e w e l ’s n a m e d a r e s t o s c r a t c h y o u . Let me shine through you.
norwalk nightmares
february, the town square strip mall is a grey shampoo bowl. the fan palms lining the street droop with the downpour. sparkles slosh over the pavement. rubber glues itself to my feet. each splash of my boots brings me closer to the flower shop. i saw a tik tok about how men often only get flowers after they die. a vision of you snowed in on the mountaintops hurries my steps. faster yet when i picture you lose your glint in a mudslide lane of the pineapple express.
no matter where i look, no flower will suffice. the roses’ thorns aren’t the right hue for you. all their reds and creams and pinks are far too fleshy for you, my dear. i try the hydrangeas. they ring false blue, not the true blue you infuse into my scalp. the delphiniums leap toward you, but they do not dive into the proper hue.
i will fix them. i promise. i will harden their petals. i will polish them of their rottable flesh. i take them. the rain bends them no longer.
pressure. with new weight my knees glisten, lock still. I lift my jeans. there you are. you sea me down to the joints. the tendons don’t float. into the linoleum lagoon i sink. no longer do my lungs expand. no longer need i breathe when you pull me into your embrace—
my eyes grind open. lather, rinse, and repeat. i rush for the bathroom. lather, rinse, and repeat. amber, seafoam along the porcelain shore, lathers. rinse, and repeat. The bouquet crystallizes. Lather, rinse, and repeat.
Ready to Lather, Rinse, and Repeat?
Thank you for reading part one of this two-part, horror hybrid short story (I wanted to call it flash fiction, but turns out both parts combined are longer than a typical flash fiction piece, whoops). I had a lot of fun with this one, so hopefully y’all did, too! Let me know in the comments your favorite shampoo and conditioner (or just let me know what you thought of the story so far, gemstone and/or haircare puns encouraged). If you don’t see part two in your feed or email or however you find my posts by Friday (6/5/2026), I’ll have a link here for you 💎💙💎!
Thank you, Nymphish!
I’ve had this idea rattling around in my head for almost two months now, thanks to Nymphish’s iconic NaPoWriMo poem “Two Truths and a Lie.” While the pieces I wrote are obviously fiction and any complete resemblances to real companies and/or people are purely coinkydinks, have fun figuring out which parts of her poem are fictitious and which are true. Read for yourself below:
Shoutout and credit again to Nymphish for the idea for this short story! I appreciate her letting me take that image of white sapphire shampoo and run with it. If you have some coins to spare, also consider checking out her zine available through Ko-fi!
I will no longer be asking for you to subscribe at the end of my posts. This is (partially) because all of my writing is here for free, anyway, whether you subscribe or follow or not. Also, fun fact, I have a Wordpress now. You can get the same stuff here, but a bit sooner if you click here. If you’ve ever wanted to tip me, please consider instead doing one of the following:
Donating to an environmental non-profit or charity like one of the charities listed here
Donating to Amnesty International or NIJC or Human Rights Watch
Tipping and/or supporting one of my lovely friends: RM Greta, Saint Lazare, Bea, Alex J, Edward Marlo Ruiz, Walt Shuler, Ryan Stephen Thornton, pixiewithpens, and/or Nymphish!
Thank you for reading my work! Since I will not charge for subscriptions until this place enforces its own ToS on the Neo Nazis they’ve permitted to monetize themselves here, please consider instead sharing this post if you liked it.
DAMN THIS IS FUCKING INCREDIBLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!